no leaping necessary

On Friday, from my cozy position on the couch, I said, “I have not gotten enough done today.”

I was looking at Loui but I answered myself: “Well, it’s a long weekend,” I said, mapping my to-do list across the three-day weekend and feeling better about my prospects.  

“It’s a long year,” Loui said.

I was, for a moment, speechless.

“I think…” I began. “I think that may have just cured me of a lifelong sense of urgency.”

…

Last Monday was the first day of school — my third first day as a UK part-time instructor, which is hard to believe. For the second time, I was asking my students to answer some introductory questions on paper, rather than digitally, to encourage writers to physically write.

For the fall semester, I typewrote 15 copies of the assignment. I wanted to practice what I was preaching: analog instead of digital. But this semester, I did a bit of both — I typewrote the assignment then scanned it to print more copies.

It’s unlike me to leave a task till the day of — I find it hard to sleep when I do — but I still needed to print the copies on Monday morning, less than an hour before class started. Of course the printer wasn’t working. As I paced from my office to the copy room for the third time, one of my coworkers called from his office, “Bailey? You okay?”

“I’m good!” I said. “Just trying to get the copier to work.”

“You’re walking with intention,” he said.

“I always do,” I replied.

Truly, I often startle people when I come around a corner because I’m moving so quickly. It’s certainly not because I’m athletic; it’s just that I’d like to get where I need to go or do what I need to do. Let’s get it checked off the list!

I really don’t think that’s a bad quality, and I’m proud to be efficient in many of my tasks. There’s nothing more satisfying than meeting a deadline.

The problem can occur, though, when the deadlines and the urgency are self-inflicted to an unreasonable degree. What I wished I had done more of on Friday is a good and necessary task, and it does need to be done to help me meet a somewhat imminent deadline. But I do not need to panic about doing it, and I do not need to guilt myself for not doing it. I know myself — it’ll get done.

In this and other tasks, I can pause and breathe a little. I’m grateful to Loui for reminding me of that.

Oh, and I got to my classroom 40 minutes before class started, with my copies.

…

During my moment of speechlessness, while I was experiencing an existential shift, my husband’s literal brain had already found an error.  

“Well, two years ago was a long year,” he amended.

We don’t have a Feb. 29 this year. But we still have plenty of time.